The Role of the Child Specialist in Collaborative

Since Timby Hunt works with very important people in the Collaborative process, we thought it would be great to have some of them write a new page for the website from time to time. So, leading off, here is a short page written by Erin Tighe von Zuben, Ph.D, who is a child psychologist:

The Role of the Child Specialist as Part of the Collaborative Divorce Process

The collaborative divorce process gives children a clear "voice". As part of this process, the role of the child specialist is designed to accurately identify, frame, and support these voices so that they are appropriately represented and addressed.



In essence, the child specialist is a neutral party whose primary responsibility is bringing children's needs into clear focus in a way that informs decisions and choices made by the parents that affect their children’s lives. The child specialist is not a therapist, and remains focused on seeking the best decisions for the interest of the children involved as they relate to the family’s divorce. Their role is not treatment but fact gathering, recommendation development, and advocacy within the team.

The child specialist is a licensed mental health professional with special expertise in helping families through a divorce. They serve as a neutral consultant to families and children going through divorce, and in essence, represent and advocates for the best interest the children and adolescents involved.

A child specialist will often meet with parents in an effort to better understand their concerns about their child(ren) and about co-parenting with the other parent. A child specialist also meets with children as a way to gauge their responses and needs as part of the divorce process.

A Child Specialist can:

• Provide children with the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns and regarding the divorce.
• Offer parents guidance, education, and assistance in facilitating parenting decisions
• Help parents recognize and address the emotional and psychological states and needs of children during this difficult time.
• Assist in constructing a developmentally-appropriate and child-centered parenting plan.
• Assess and prepare an appropriate list of child-centered recommendations to be given to the team for the purposes of incorporating them into the divorce agreement.

http://www.erinvonzuben.com/
215-906-0588
Offices in Doylestown and Yardley

Arnold and Maria...How It Probably Occurred

Reports yesterday morning told the story of the separation of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger after 25 years of marriage. She's 55 and he's 63 and their children are 14, 18, 20 and 21. In their joint statement they focused on the children - "We are continuing to parent our four children together," they said. "They are the light and the center of both of our lives."
More and more couples in long term marriages are considering separation and divorce. There is a focus on a new part of their life - a transition.


Maria Shriver did a video post on this at the end of March. Watch her short video here.


The reason for the timing of the announcement is the subject of much speculation. In my experience though, couples who have made the difficult decision to divorce often want to use the summer months to transition their children. The older Shriver/Schwarzenegger children are likely finishing up their Spring semesters at college while the younger one is just about to the end of his school year.


The first step in the Collaborative process is to find an attorney who is trained and experienced in working with conflict resolution. Resources such as the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the Bucks County Collaborative Law Group are very helpful in identifying attorneys who are dedicated to Collaborative.


Sometimes clients get referrals from counselors or their churches or synagogues. Call a few Collaborative attorneys (or call me); meet with them and then evaluate them in terms of how committed they are to helping you transition to your post-divorce life, not how interested they are in winning the case for you. Winning the case only gets you so far. Focusing on where you want your life to go and what your goals are for the future are important steps in restructuring your life.


In Collaborative, appropriate professionals are used along with attorneys so clients have the knowledge needed to make rational, thoughtful decisions. Financial advisors can project what each spouses retirement will look like in 10, 15, 20 years. Child specialists help the children with their thoughts and emotions and divorce coaches break the barriers of anxiety, anger and grief that can prevent couples from making decisions and coming to agreements.


Once you have a Collaborative attorney you feel you can work with, you need to talk to your spouse about working Collaboratively. Your attorney can provide you with written information to share with your spouse. Usually, even couples who are absolutely at odds with each other, can agree on trying to minimize the adverse effect of divorce on their children.