Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A Real Life Example of Why I Made the Switch to Collaborative
Here's a prime example of the kinds of emotions that led me to change my divorce practice to Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce -----
Alternative means to divorce are sweeping the country
I have something called "Google Alerts" set to email me whenever someone on the internet mentions Collaborative Divorce or Divorce Mediation. Guess what? People are talking about Collaborative Divorce and Mediation all over the country in the form of:
Blog Posts
Websites (like mine)
Web Articles
E-Zines
...and this occurs every day. Hopefully, everything we have been talking about for months is starting to sink in! We use software that tells us live where people from all over the country have been checking out my website. We get people from Atlanta to Oregon and California to New Hampshire...so pass on the word:
If You Are Going To Divorce...You Don't Have To Ruin The Children.
(Seriously...can you'all tell a few people about this? www.timbyhunt.com. Maybe we can save a few children.)
To Mediate Or Not To Mediate? (or, asked in another way,) Do You Listen?
Every summer I seem to have an influx of mediation cases. This summer was no different. In divorce mediation, the couple meets with a trained mediator to try and come to agreements on issues with their children, their stuff (assets and liabilities) and support.
As the mediator, I am a neutral and cannot give legal advice. I am there to facilitate constructive communication and help the couple really listen to each other.
One couple recently came in and, as I explained this to them, they said "Well, we can talk to each other just fine, why do we need you?" It's a question I get often. The key is most couples say they can "talk", BUT they don't say they can "listen." As a divorce mediator, I help them listen to what their partner is saying and stay focused on discussing the issues...NOT what brought them to the decision to divorce.
New York judge orders mother to make children available for Skype visits
TimbyHunt - Divorcing While Keeping The Children in Tact
I just finished reading the above article. In summary, it is about a mother who went to court seeking permission to move from New York to Florida with her children. Not only does she have family there, she was offered a great job.
In a divorce where the courts are involved, parents cannot move out of the area if it will effect the other parent's custodial time. Either the party gets a court order or there is an agreement between the two parties. The latter is the kind of work I do for clients, because the shock of things like this can be managed and made easier to deal with.
My neighbors just told their daughter they were moving. It was very traumatic for her...and they aren't even divorcing! Think what the children have to go through with something like this. Imagine the additional anguish that comes when a child is made to testify at a relocation hearing. I applaud the judge in this New York case for getting creative with the use of Skype. It is just a shame the parents couldn't avoid litigation.
Any comments, guys? I think we need to try to remind everybody that this is going on all around them.
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